20. In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?
Recently, a growing number of sportsmen have started to use performance-enhancing drugs to improve their results. Whereas the usage of such substances may provide positive results in the short term, the detrimental impact they have on the health and careers of athletes is far more significant. Despite the complex nature of this trend, I believe more rigorous testing and stricter penalties can help alleviate the current situation.
One of the main dangers presented by drugs is the negative effect they have on the health of people. Continuous exposure to different medicaments can lead to various health issues, including, but not limited to, heart disease, liver damage, and hormonal imbalances. Moreover, drugs are known for their negative influence on the mental well-being of a person. The majority of sportsmen using PEDs reported being particularly susceptible to mood swings and rapid bursts of aggression, which are side effects of all addictive medications. However, due to this high addictiveness, many athletes struggle to quit doping, even at the cost of their health.
To combat this problem, several measures can be taken. Firstly, enforcing testing protocols can deter some athletes from using PEDs. Regular and surprise drug testing, including off-season periods, can help ensure compliance. Next, implementing stricter penalties for those who do not follow the protocols, such as lengthy suspensions, fines, or lifetime bans, will potentially discourage many sportsmen from cheating. Additionally, raising awareness of negative effects on health and promoting natural performances is equally important in supporting younger generations of athletes. Highlighting examples of successful sportsmen who achieved great results without doping can serve as good motivation in promoting clean sports.
To conclude, taking advantage of performance-enhancing drugs ultimately leads to serious issues with health and can irreparably tarnish careers of talented athletes. Therefore, harsher policies and regular tests are required to ensure that everyone competes fairly. Yhe emphasis on talented individuals who do not resort to use any substances can also help in fostering a fair competitive environment.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. Transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother to guide the reader through the argument more effectively. Some sentences are slightly disjointed and could be rephrased for better flow and coherence.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. Some phrases are slightly awkward or imprecise and could be refined for clarity and impact. For example, “the detrimental impact they have on the health and careers of athletes” could be more succinctly phrased as “the significant negative impact on athletes’ health and careers.”
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay. For example, “Yhe emphasis on talented individuals who do not resort to use any substances” should be “The emphasis on talented individuals who do not use substances.”
The essay addresses all parts of the task. The writer presents a clear position throughout the response. The essay could be further improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments. The essay provides a clear and relevant response to the prompt, with well-developed ideas and appropriate examples. The argument is logical and persuasive, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the key points. However, the essay could be further improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your writing more concrete and persuasive.