Nowadays more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are the solutions?
Currently, this job market is full of aged people, seeking better employment options, and therefore, they find themselves in competition with youngsters for the exact jobs. For me, this triggers some issues but can be solved in a number of ways which I will provide in my essay.
To begin with, occurrence of competition between the old and the young results in some issues, with the first one being age discrimination. Old generation, due to several factors, is now unemployed and seeking better job prospects but in the meantime recruiting progress is often decided by the applicants` ages. They are often believed to be less energetic and have health concerns, and this is why employers are abandoning those applicants yet opting for their young counterparts. For example, in many countries there are age limits for certain jobs, demanding only younger layer of population, leaving less vacancy for aged individuals.
Secondly, old people tend to have promotion concerns in many job sectors. In many companies, some policies are implemented that to be promoted, one has to work many years to showcase their commitment and loyalty. That means, they are obliged to work and stay more and take unstable income for many years, negatively affecting their overall performance at work. Cases in most governmental organizations can demonstrate this by implementing inner policies which an individual`s work duration should be at least 2 or more years in terms of gaining promotion.
Turning to possible solutions, introducing policies against age-disparity discrimination. Governments actions to encourage old-people recruitment with consideration of youth unemployment risks and trivialize age difference in recruitment process can be effective. For instance, rewarding companies for employing elders and imposing certain laws to control age discrimination. In this scenario, the impact of HR is so huge that they also should be a part of improving age-free work environment since the main problems the elderly are struggling to overcome should not be overlooked by them.
A second remedy, updating requirements to be promoted which prioritize performance over career duration and organizing career developmental programs. A company`s emphasizing work years could contribute to their development but undermine experience and hard work. For this reason, reforming those demands and creating welcome environment for having knowledge and dedication proves supposedly beneficial. Additionally, urging work improvement programs lets all employees think optimistically about their potential work prospects regardless of their ages or work years, willingly attending those programs to get promotion.
In conclusion, while many unemployed elderly happen to be in competition with young individuals and this is troubling some problems, it has certain solutions for those such as altering some policies and implementation of laws that prevent such issues at work.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The use of transition words and phrases helps to guide the reader through the text. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. For example, in the second body paragraph, the transition between discussing age discrimination and promotion issues could be smoother. Additionally, the conclusion could be more concise and impactful.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
- Ensure that the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. A variety of vocabulary and idiomatic expressions are used. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, in the first body paragraph, the phrase “applicants` ages” should be “applicants’ ages” and in the second body paragraph, the phrase “aging different layer of population” is unclear and could be rephrased for clarity.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay demonstrates a good command of a range of grammatical structures, with a variety of sentence types used effectively. However, there are a few minor errors that could be addressed. For example, in the first body paragraph, the phrase “recruiting progress” should be “recruitment processes” and in the second body paragraph, the phrase “employing elders” should be “hiring older workers” for clarity and sensitivity.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the problems caused by the increasing competition between older and younger workers and suggesting potential solutions. The writer presents a clear introduction and conclusion, and the body paragraphs are well-organized and focused. However, the essay could benefit from more specific examples to support the arguments made.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that outlines the main point to be discussed.