Today, few students pursue science subjects at university in numerous countries. While the complexities involved in studying them and their current relevance are the reasons explaining this trend, several problems, such as slowed progress and reduced scientific literacy, are sure to arise over time unless enough students study them.
There are certain reasons why science subjects are popular among a small number of university students. For one, they are deemed difficult to understand. Studying science subjects necessitates memorizing formulas and facts along with questioning assumptions. For example, Biology requires students to understand various biological processes full of abstract concepts and the same can be said for Chemistry, Physics and Math. Having known the difficulties associated with pursuing such subjects in advance, more and more students decide to avoid learning them at university.
Their relevance to the modern world is another factor behind the declining popularity of science among university students. Some would argue that the lessons learned from them have no practical applications in our daily life. Math can be a good case in point. Only basic understanding of this subject can be valuable in life, which schools can teach. In addition, other modern subjects like marketing and language learning seem appealing to students, as the demand for them in employment is high now, attracting a disproportionate number of students compared to science subjects.
However, the effects of this phenomenon, especially in the long terms, are subject to greater concerns. The benefits of science are highly pronounced in areas like medicine and environment. Medical breakthroughs are by-products presented by scientists. They have played an important part in developing treatments and vaccines for deadly diseases, saving millions of lives. COVID-19 can be a pertinent example. During this pandemic, scientists from all around the world worked together to find a cure or mitigate its effects, stressing the importance of science in helping people stay healthy and live longer.
The positive effects of science extend to environment as well. In a world where global issues, such as climate change and air pollution, have reached epidemic proportions, more people aware of science are important. The individuals with a good command of science tend to be environmentally-conscious members of society, as they know how harmful some human activities are for environment. Also, science prepares scientists who come up with solutions to these problems. For instance, a new farming method, vertical farming, has recently been discovered. This way saves water significantly, meaning when implemented on a large scale, we can conserve water for a long time. Meanwhile, as alternatives to fossil fuels like coal and gas, green energy sources, such as wind and solar have been devised. These breakthroughs are nothing short of significant to maintain the ecosystem clean. However, if a growing number of students were not to study science, it would be impossible to enjoy these benefits.
In conclusion, many students struggle in studying science and question its relevance in both their daily life and employment, reasons explaining why few of them are interested in studying them. However, this situation gives birth to some significant issues in society, for the role of science in critical areas like medicine and environment is indispensable.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Flow and Organization: The essay is well-organized, with clear paragraphs dedicated to each aspect of the argument. However, transitions between ideas could be smoother to enhance the overall flow.
Suggestion: Use more transitional phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs more effectively, such as “Furthermore,” and “In addition to this.”
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Vocabulary Usage: The essay demonstrates a strong command of academic vocabulary, with terms like “scientific literacy,” ” medical breakthroughs,” and “green energy sources” used appropriately. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Suggestion: Review and revise sentences for awkward or incorrect word choices, such as “Having known the difficulties associated with pursuing such subjects in advance, more and more students decide to avoid learning them at university,” which could be rephrased for clarity.
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. However, there are a few minor errors.
Grammar and Sentence Structure: The essay is largely free of grammatical errors, with well-structured sentences that effectively convey the intended meaning. However, there are a few minor errors that could be addressed.
Suggestion: Review and revise sentences for minor grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues or incorrect prepositions.
The essay addresses the task effectively and provides a well-developed response to the question. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons behind the declining interest in science subjects at the university level and the potential effects of this trend on society. The writer presents a clear explanation of the complexities involved in studying science, its current relevance, and the potential problems that may arise from the decreased interest in these subjects. The argument is well-developed and supported with relevant examples, such as the medical breakthroughs related to COVID-19 and the positive effects of science on environmental issues. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the importance of science in critical areas. However, the essay could benefit from a more detailed exploration of additional effects on society beyond the medical and environmental areas.
Suggestions
- Consider revising the introduction to more clearly and effectively introduce the topic and the writer’s position.