Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is a debate over who should bear the responsibility of the reduction in the amount of packaging of products, with some arguing that retailers and producers, who have the greatest influence over goods, should take care of the process and others believing that it is customers who can encourage business to make packing more eco-friendly. In this consumer-driven world, I believe that customers can have a greater impact on reducing packaging usage since they can encourage businesses to adopt sustainable practices.
As businesses are getting more competitive, many competitors started paying attention to a design of a product which is the first thing to grasp one’s attention. This drives the increase in the proportion of materials used for wrapping goods. Moreover, packing appeared favorable as it keeps versatile goods safe in distributions. Consequently, manufacturers focus on the profits coming from it and neglect the impacts on the environment. Those designing and manufacturing have the most control over the products can actually make a difference favorably.
This, however, may not be feasible since profit is the most important in most business fields. These days, due to consumer need, retail industries are encouraged to implement profitable strategies to make their items appealing. This drive to meet customer demands aligns with the goal of reducing packaging in goods and that is possible with those choosing products with less packaging or reusable materials to urge retailors to embrace eco-friendly methods or to minimize packaging waste.
In conclusion, while factory and store owners may hold the responsibility on their shoulders to limit package usage, it is more realistic for consumers to lead the push for cutting down on packaging volume.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive. Clearer topic sentences and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.

Suggestions

Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.

The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. For example, “This drive to meet customer demands aligns with the goal of reducing packaging in goods and that is possible with those choosing products with less packaging or reusable materials to urge retailors to embrace eco-friendly methods or to minimize packaging waste” is somewhat confusing. A more concise and clear expression of the idea would improve readability and understanding.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds variety and interest. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity. For example, “As businesses are getting more competitive, many competitors started paying attention to a design of a product which is the first thing to grasp one’s attention” could be revised to “As competition among businesses increases, many competitors are starting to pay attention to product design, which is often the first thing that catches a consumer’s attention.”

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear personal opinion. The introduction and conclusion are well-developed and effectively summarize the main points. However, the body paragraphs could be more fully developed, with more specific examples and a clearer explanation of the ideas. Ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and is well-supported with specific examples will improve the overall quality of the essay.