All education and healthcare should be funded by the government and free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
The government should pay for the education and health maintenance of every individual instead of people funding it. This essay agrees with the statement and the essay will clarify why.
At the present time most of people could not afford education or if the people are ill they could not afford medicines. In other words, since many people lack the financial means to afford education and healthcare, the government should fund these services to improve the overall health and educational status of the community. By maintaining studying and health the citizens will work more efficiently than usuall. If the statuses are low, the town could not develop, because of the residents who are ill or make silly decisions because of lack of knowledge.
On the other hand, residents should strive to be self-sufficient by ensuring they are well-educated and healthy. This would, for instance, relieve the government of the financial burden of providing healthcare and education, as people would be able to afford these services themselves. Additionally, a well-educated and healthy population is likely to contribute more to the economy. However, most of the time when people get sick they could not earn high salary in order to afford medicines, but in some cases, there might be deaths by shortages of medicines.
In conclusion, it’s better to pay for all education and healthcare by government. If it’s not possible, there might be deaths.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance of the essay.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and reiterate your stance.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are some sentences that could be revised for clarity. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and shows a good command of grammar and punctuation. However, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected for clarity and accuracy.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic and presents a clear position, but the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay could benefit from a more thorough exploration of the counter-argument and a stronger conclusion that reinforces the main points.
Suggestions
- Ensure that your argument is fully developed and supported with specific examples.
- Consider addressing a counter-argument to strengthen your position.