Some people think globalization benefits while some people believe harm local culture Disscuss both views and give your own opinion

People have different views as to whether globalization brings advantages to individuals. While there are emotional and practical benefits to trading internationally, I believe that it largely represents a negative development due to its detrimental impact on the environment and culture as a whole.
Proponents of globalization cite various reasons to support their stance. When entrepreneurs are given the opportunity to run their businesses globally, it enables them to reach financial stability and extend their businesses by establishing an increased number of branches, which require more workforce. This, in turn, makes them hire more employees and train their staff on a regular basis, potentially contributing to the unemployment rate to decline. Another benefit is connected to the exchange of staff work experience. Put simply, once a company reach an agreement with another one in overseas, their employees should gain the necessary qualifications so that the commercial relationship between enterprises lasts longer.
On the other hand, international commerce may have several obvious negatives to the environment and cultures values. If people are devoted to consume the products that are produced in different parts of the globe rather than locally produced ones, it seems logical for them to purchase the former ones, no matter how much it costs to transport them. In this attempt, they will need to rely on the use of various vehicles to deliver those products from one region to another, which indirectly harms the environment. Additionally, the businesses with a huge experience of international commerce are likely to gain competitive edge in terms of trading, eventually leading to local businesses to encounter difficulties in running.
In conclusion, however advantageous the benefits of globalization are, I firmly believe that it does more bad than good to local businesses and individuals in the long run.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction clearly states the topic and the writer’s opinion, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The body paragraphs each discuss a single point, but the connection between these points and the overall argument could be made clearer. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions

Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as “financial stability,” “competitive edge,” and “local businesses.” However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the essay. For example, the phrase “the businesses with a huge experience of international commerce” is awkward and could be more clearly expressed as “businesses with extensive experience in international commerce.”

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds variety and interest to the writing. However, there are some grammatical errors that affect the clarity and readability of the essay. For example, the phrase “If people are devoted to consume the products that are produced in different parts of the globe rather than locally produced ones” is awkward and could be more clearly expressed as “If people are devoted to consuming products produced in different parts of the globe rather than locally produced ones.”

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay clearly addresses the topic by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of globalization. The writer presents a clear opinion that globalization largely represents a negative development due to its detrimental impact on the environment and culture. The essay provides relevant examples to support the arguments, such as the potential for globalization to contribute to environmental harm and the impact on local businesses. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples and by further developing the arguments to provide a more thorough analysis of the topic.