The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in Panama City from 2010 to 2019.
The line graph presents data about the changing rates of different crimes in Panama city between 2010 to 2019.
Overall, the number of incidents of burglary, car theft, robbery experienced a fluctuation throughout the period with the figures for burglary, the most common crime, dropping markedly and those of car theft and robbery maintaining nearly the same level despite changes.
In 2010, The number of incidents in burglary started at just under 3500, a figure which then rose by around 300 in a year. However, this was followed by sharp decline to reach its low of 1000 in the next 5 years.
At the beginning of the period, car theft occurred four times more than robbery. Approximately 2800 people stole cars in Panama, a figure which maintained its stability during 5 years before bottoming at just over 2000.
The figures for car theft and robbery finalised at nearly the same level as it started. The first rose significantly to around 2800 after bottoming in 2015 and the latter experienced a fluctuation between 500-1000 throughout the given timeframe.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the data. The information is sequenced in a way that makes it easy to follow the trends in the data. However, there are a few instances where the use of cohesive devices could be improved to better connect the ideas and make the writing more coherent.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to better connect the ideas and make the writing more coherent.
- Consider using more topic sentences to clearly introduce the main idea of each paragraph.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary to describe the data and the trends. However, there are a few instances where the choice of words could be improved to be more precise and varied. Additionally, the use of synonyms could be increased to avoid repetition and make the writing more interesting.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there is a good range of grammatical structures. However, there are a few instances where the grammar could be improved for better clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of punctuation could be improved to better support the structure of the sentences and make the writing more accurate.
The essay provides a detailed and accurate description of the data presented in the graph. The essay addresses all the main points and provides a clear overview of the trends and changes in the different types of crimes. The essay also makes some comparisons where relevant. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and examples to support the general statements. Additionally, the essay could be more concise and focused on the main points, as some of the details could be seen as irrelevant or excessive.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific details and examples to support the general statements.
- Be more concise and focused on the main points, and avoid irrelevant or excessive details.