In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

It is believed that, in particular countries of the world, the normal average weight of humans is rising and their levels of health and well-being decreasing. This issue has certain causes and measures to overtake it, which will be outlined below.
One of the causes of this problem is the fact that people are less active nowadays than they used to be in the past. Causes of less-activeness can be factors like convenient life and easy access to theer things they want. It is fact, that life become calier nowadays than comparing to one century ago. People have easy access to everything they want. For example, three or four decades ago, people had to visit the libraries to read the book they read or go to the market either shop to buy clothes or products. While doing theer activities, visiting such places, they completed physical activity.
But today you can order every single thing you want from platforms like Amazon, shopify or eBay. You easily can get your orders. Things you should do to order is just having access to Internet and pushing one button and – done. That’s why online shopping is popular in our time, because of its convenience. People can do almost everything staying at home.
Another reason of this issue is eating high-calory food by people. Meals of today, can have many calories that you can eat only piece of them.
Solutions to them can be activities like social challenges, marathons which can be organized by government either volunteers. These marathons and challenges can call people to reduce the number of food they eat either to commit more physical activities, to stay active. And also, changing the appearance of public libraries, markets and parks, can call them to visit these places on foot and by that being physically active.
In conclusion, there are many causes and solutions of this problem exist. But individuals don’t have to wait for government to take action and organize events, they can organize them for themselves easily. So, obesity is widespread issue and can have several solutions.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the proposed solutions.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to link all the ideas in a paragraph coherently.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors and punctuation issues that can hinder understanding. These need to be addressed to improve the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay.

The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the causes of the increase in average weight and the decrease in health and fitness levels in certain countries. The writer provides a clear explanation of the factors contributing to this issue and suggests potential solutions. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples and by ensuring that all parts of the prompt are fully addressed.