It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantges?

People have different views as to whether it is important to take risks in both condition including professional lives and even personal lives, those opinion could be true in their own right but I am of the opinion that although there are some advantages of take the risks, the upsides can easily outweigh it.
In many parts of the world there are some advantages of get the risks including but not limited to become independent or rich, on the ground that, in this modern world, more people can make a designs by themselves including risks or clear ideas which spent month or weeks in order to make it, in fact, if those ideas will show the positive effect it will be great but it will not, this will be horrible occasion that you ever faced, however, according to scientists information, nowadays, approximately 20% people end the risks successfully, maybe, through this method, some people will be become rich or successful but other stay stable, with one word, I strongly believe that the disadvantages are more and effect fully rather than advantages.
On the other hand, I am of the opinion that, those advantages not enough for outweigh the disadvantages, because of this, at that present time, most people are suffering not only by debts but also health issues, on the ground that this risks can be cause number of big problems, in addition, when we faced the facts, scientists say that, around 80% people failed by some risks on the programs such as X bet, crypto and gambling, as I once write, they have already became slave alike one student who involved in study.
In conclusion, those negative sides may be true in their own right, but I am of the opinion that those disadvantages can outweigh the advantages, not advantages.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the conclusion and summarize the main points.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. The essay uses a variety of complex grammatical structures with a few errors. However, there are some grammatical errors and punctuation issues that can be distracting. The essay contains several grammatical errors, including issues with verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. These errors can be distracting and may impact the overall clarity of the essay.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks in professional and personal lives. The writer presents a clear position that the disadvantages of taking risks outweigh the advantages and supports this position with relevant examples. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay would benefit from a more detailed exploration of the potential benefits of taking risks.