In numerous nations, there is a growing trend for individuals to frequently discuss financial matters, such as their earnings or expenditures, in everyday conversation. What are the reasons behind this phenomenon? Is it advantageous or detrimental.
In our modern world, in numerous nations, there is a growing trend for individuals to frequently discuss earnings or expenditures in everyday conversation. I personally believe this trend is advantageous.
On the one hand, some people wish to discuss their financial matters and personal expenditures. I trust that the trend is advantageous for financial problems and money shortage. Moreover, you can fix your own financial problems if you take advice from conversation because this trend can help to improve your work experience and work skills. In addition, if individuals always discuss financial matters such as their earning or expenditures in everyday conversation because you may take new information and details from their work. So that’s why your salary may be increasing and your money shortage and expenditures may be dropped. If they use these informations from their work.
However, there are several detrimentals from this trend because this trend may lead to depression, quandary, and other mental problems. In addition, you may be ill from depression and you must be curing at the treatment center because these issues lead to heart disease and diabetes mellitus from this trend.In fact, experts often emphasize not to dwell on financial problems and expenditures. So that’s why you always discuss financial matters, such as their earnings or expenditures in everyday conversation. If I were to offer advice based on this trend, one must discuss their own financial matters.
In conclusion, I personally believe this trend is absolutely useful for increasing their own salaries and fixing their own financial problems or expenditures.
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the body paragraphs could be more clearly linked to the thesis statement. The use of transitions is inconsistent, which affects the flow of the essay. Some sentences are redundant and could be removed to improve clarity.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and make your argument more cohesive.
- Avoid redundancy by removing any unnecessary words or phrases.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but some words are used incorrectly or inappropriately. Some phrases are awkward or unidiomatic. There is some repetition of words and phrases.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures, but there are some errors in sentence construction and tense usage. Some sentences are too long and awkward. There are errors in verb tense and subject-verb agreement. Some phrases are awkward and unidiomatic.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. The essay could provide more specific examples to support the argument. Some points are not fully developed or explained. The conclusion could be stronger and more nuanced.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each point is fully developed and explained.
- Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing the main points and clearly restating your position.