Donations given to five different types of charity by one company
The bar chart provides information about a single company that has donated to six various kinds of charity over a 3-year period, starting with 2012.
Generally speaking , the number of donations for arts , social welfare and health increased over a particular period, the reverse was true education and environment.
Focusing on big numbers first, the figure for donations for arts , social welfare , and health saw an upward trend over years. The quantity of donations for arts increased over the years . Initially, the company donated about 3 million , the similar pattern can be seen for the next year . Gradually , the firm donated slightly more compared to the previous year accounting for roughly 4 million . Turning to health , the company has donated more for health compared to arts . In 2012 , they donated approximately 6 million , while next they donated little more about 7 million . In the final year, they donated about 9 million . Additionally, the company donated the most to social welfare . In 2012, they donated little more than 20 million , while the next year they decreased the number of donations, accounting for roughly 17.5 million . In the final year , they donated more than ever , approximately 24.5 million.
By contrast , the number of donations for education and the environment has declined over the years . In the first year , the company donated about 7 million to education , while the next year it was accounted for only 6 million . In the final year it increased slightly to 6.5 million . Moreover , the quantity of donations for the environment also saw a downward trend. In 2012 , they donated about 7 million and the next year it became 5 million , while the next it increased slightly accounted for 6 million.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the data. The information is sequenced in a way that makes it easy to follow the trends in the data. However, there are a few instances where the flow of information could be improved.
Suggestions
- Use a wider range of linking words to improve the flow of information.
- Consider using more varied sentence structures to introduce and explain the data.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances where word choice could be improved.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are very few grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances where the choice of tense could be improved.
The essay provides a detailed and accurate description of the data presented in the bar chart. The essay clearly identifies the trends in the data and makes relevant comparisons. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific data to support the comparisons.
Suggestions
- Include specific data to support your comparisons. For example, instead of saying ‘they donated little more about 7 million’, you could say ‘they donated slightly more, accounting for 7.5 million’.