In some parts of the world, people have become more focused on themselves than their communities. What problems can this situation cause and how can they be solved?
In various parts of the globe, people have become self-centered than community-focused. This circumstance can cause several problems, including lack of collaboration and depleted community growth. Even so, there are a number of solutions, such as setting common goals and participating in social events.
One of the most critical issues in growing society is deficiency in teamwork. This is because a great number of people have a hectic lifestyle and they do not want to be worried about community troubles, except for their personal life. For example, having worked hard on themselves, individuals may not see any point to focus on teamwork of their residence. Moreover, the growth and progress in any sphere of society decrease as a growing number of successful individuals prioritize their own needs over the community. Therefore, not only the public but also the future of that society declines instead of blossoming.
To prevent from this problem, immediate action is required, such as setting collaborative societal purposes to contribute to the community’s prosperity. For instance, establishing public places like libraries and tea houses can help to rebuild collective bonds. Furthermore, being involved in various events that are especially held in the community centers can be another way of solving this issue. For example, having engaged in social meetings, the resolutions of lots of unsolved problems can be tackled and it can pave the way to its bright and posperous future. Thus, individuals, communities and governments should combine their efforts.
In conclusion, the self-centered characteristic of individuals leads to special issues like poor teamwork and the lack of efforts in its development. To address this, solutions such as joining in society and aiming for its future can offer better life for you and your community.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
- Use a wider range of linking words to connect ideas more effectively.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more specific examples could enhance the overall quality of the writing.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay demonstrates a good command of complex sentence structures and a variety of grammatical forms. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more specific examples could enhance the overall quality of the writing.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout. However, the conclusion could be more comprehensive. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the problems caused by a focus on individual needs over community and suggesting potential solutions. The ideas are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the essay could benefit from a more formal tone and style. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the main points and reiterating the proposed solutions.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the proposed solutions.