In our contemporary world, some individuals are more dependent on health care rather than caring for their well-being. These people believe that any disease can be cured with the help of medical professionals. This growing sense of dependence has led to problems such as wastage of doctors’ time and forming wrong mindsets in youngsters’ brains. However, these challenges can be addressed by certain solutions.
One major problem caused by reliance on doctors is overstretched time patterns for the patients who most need their support. When people do not take care of their overall health, more serious health issues can be dismissed due to the increase in the number of diseased humans. For instance, having spent time with the ones who are rich and have a minor ailment, medical practitioners may set serious illnesses aside. Furthermore, relying too much on health specialists can result in formulating false outlooks for the youth and contributing to those of the new society.
To address these issues, governments and communities can take innovative steps. One solution is to educate people to take responsibility for their own health. For example, instituting several programs that support a healthy lifestyle can urge them to work hard on themselves to be healthier. Another effective approach is promoting annual awards for those who have stayed more attentive to their life. For instance, highlighting the daily habits of people in good shape can inspire others to follow them.
In conclusion, the rise of reliance on doctors has caused significant challenges, including wasting the time of medics and posing a threat to the future. However, by involving communities in several events and encouraging the ones with good health, these problems can be tackled.

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions

Use a variety of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
Ensure that your conclusion fully summarizes the main points of your essay.

The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more specific examples could enhance the overall quality of the writing.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay demonstrates a good command of complex sentence structures and a variety of grammatical forms. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more specific examples could enhance the overall quality of the writing.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the problems caused by an overreliance on doctors and suggesting solutions. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places, and the conclusion could more effectively summarize the main points.