Number of people rely too much on doctors advice or pills instead of taking care of their health. Therefore they think every health issues can just be solved as a result by visiting doctors.
One of the main problems, Humans are afraid to make a worse decision for their health. As a results they are forced to visit hospitals, to conversation with specialist to improve, their well-being. Indeed, some people are think about their health, more than others or they don’t have knowledge, about medicine. Although, they took medications thanks to advertisement, because they believe, for famous people who advertise this pill and buy this items.In addition local people trust doctors, nevertheless there are many situations when there are not enough specialists in hospitals. As a results population hear unnecesarry advices, for their health or taking the wrong pills. Finally when it’s too late they realize, that they shouldn’t have visited doctors a lot when their health gets worse every day, then they will understand.
Another issue is that, Social media or news because every day we watch news, which was related to health problems such as new viruses and microbes, which was created by scientists. One of the main reason why we visit doctors and care about themselvesб is internet resources.It is popular among adults they afraid about this kind of news or viruses, but we must know that the state loves to scare its citizens with such news and propaganda, in order to maintain its economy.
To address these problems, We need to teach adults and young people for ignoring those news.We have to start with adults, because elderly people trust TV very much and they force different family members and them to visit medical centers. Moreover human must teach about themselves in proper nutrition and avoid bad habits and alcohol.
In conclusion, while doctors and medical treatments are vital for addressing health issues, individuals should not rely solely on them for their well-being. Taking personal responsibility for one’s health, adopting a healthy lifestyle, and seeking preventive care can help reduce the over-dependence on doctors. By fostering a greater understanding of self-care, society can improve overall health outcomes and reduce the strain on healthcare systems.

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the thesis.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to link all parts of your essay back to the main idea in a coherent way.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that can be distracting for the reader. The essay uses a variety of complex grammatical structures, but there are several errors in agreement, tense, and preposition use that can be distracting. These errors can be corrected to improve the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. However, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the main points and restating the thesis.