Nowadays many elderly people live alone and this can cause a variety of problems of society. What are some of these problems and what solutions can you suggest?

At present old people are isolated from society and live without connection to outdoor life and this can provide some issues in whole society. There are plenty of elders who live in a such lifestyle and it affects both economically and mentally, nevertheless there some common ideas to solve the problem.
To begin with, there an incontrovertible thing about how elders keep the nationality and spiritual value of a place they live and how it can impact on current teenagers. Up to date teenagers have been disapproving by elder people, they always teach us what is good and what is bad, due to they experienced a lot of troubles and challenges throughout their life, they got huge number of information and according them teach us to make our life easier. For instance, if a middle-aged boy who lives in a place where it is easy to get troubles, and approximately all elders live isolated from the world, the boy would not be able to get some tips from them. Moreover, without them the national culture will easily disappear from a certain place. Furthermore, if in the place still there some elders who live in society, they can find it better living along because of the other who do such thing. And this is how and why isolated elders can impact on our society.
To solve problems mentioned earlier, government can do some thing toward this issue. The first thing why old people want to live along is because they do not see the sense being active among community, to encourage them to stop thinking in a such way, government can organize events and make some banners to motivate them to be social. For example, if an elder who is along saw a banner where there are some motivating words and pictures would start thinking about being social. Moreover to make this idea perform better, government can organize some event for theme which includes the most common thing elders are interested in.
To sup up, I firmly believe that isolated elders have a huge impact on society and especially on teenagers. To solve the problem government should pay more attention on them because only them can encourage elders to be more social, otherwise the country can lose it’s cultural value.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the proposed solutions.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to link all the ideas in a paragraph to the main point of the paragraph.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. The essay uses a variety of complex and simple sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that can be distracting.

The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. However, the essay could provide more specific examples to support the arguments. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the impact of isolated elderly people on society and suggesting solutions. However, the arguments could be more fully developed, and the essay could provide more specific examples to support the points made.