Despite evidence that certain types of food are harmful, many people make the choice to eat unhealthy food. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures can be taken to solve it?
The modern lifestyle has led to a big increase in fast-food and junk-food consumption, causing serious health problems like obesity, heart disease, and cancer. Although serious problems have risen as a result of eating unhealthily, there are some possible solutions to avoid them.
The main problems caused by the content of the junk-food, especially food additives and sugar, are serious illnesses such as cancer and obesity. What is more, a lot of studies indicate that the more people consume unhealthy food, the more they gain weight easily. Due to weight issues, different problems occur, such as deteriorating mental mood and self-esteem. For instance, when school kids are overweight, their peers can laugh at them, which can cause losing self-confidence.
A good solution is to encourage people to eat homemade meals instead of junk food. Homemade food is cheaper, healthier, and provides a balanced diet that helps prevent illnesses. Many people are also starting to choose organic and healthy options to avoid serious diseases. Governments can also help by educating people, especially children, about good nutrition and making stricter rules for junk-food companies to control harmful ingredients.
In conclusion, eating unhealthily triggers lots of health problems, including cancer and obesity. The most effective solution is to encourage consuming home-cooked nutrients which are additive-free.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are clearly presented. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that your ideas are fully developed and explained in each paragraph.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. There are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions, but these do not impede overall understanding.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. The essay provides relevant, extended and supported ideas. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments. In the body paragraphs, you mention the use of homemade meals and organic options as solutions to the problem. Providing specific examples of where these solutions have been implemented successfully could strengthen your argument. For instance, you could mention a country or community that has seen a significant decrease in obesity rates due to a national campaign promoting homemade meals. This would provide more concrete evidence to support your claims.