Some people think That Art is An Essential subject for school children while others think it is a waste of time.
There is a debate which art education, with some saying this subject is necessary for school children and other arguing it is surplus for the curriculum of school. In my opinion this is related to the purpose of education and the role of creativity in personal and social development.
Art education is vital for fostering creativity, emotional growth and cultural awareness in school children. Art promotes creativity and imagination, skills that are valuable all areas of the life. For instance, when children engage in activities like painting, sculpting or designing, they learn to think outside the box and explore new ideas. This ability to innovate is not only essential in art fields, but also in profession such as engineering, business and technology, where problem- solving and innovations are key. Moreover, art helps students appreciate different cultures and histories, broadening their worldview. By analyzing artwork from various cultures, they develop a deeper understanding and respect for diversity. This cultural exposure not only enrichs thier knowledge but also fostera empathy and reduce prejudice, preparing them to navigate an increasingly globalized world.
Some argue that art is less practical subject, diverting valuable time and resources from core academic disciplines. Critic argue that time spent on art could be better used to focus on subjects like math, language and science which are often deemed more critical for career prospects. For example, career in engineering , medicine and technology require a strong foundation in these course subjects, as they are directly linked to economical and professional opportunities. Also, standardized testing and college admission emphasize performance in math and language over over art abilities, making art as less essential in competitive academic environment.
In conclusion , while art fosters creativity, imagination and cultural understanding. critics argue that art education is less essential than core academic and technical subjects. I believe that integrate art with core academic and technical subjects can cater to diverse talent and interests, ensuring well-rounded education.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Make sure that your conclusion fully summarizes the arguments you have made in the essay.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad vocabulary, but there are instances of awkward or incorrect word choices. For example, “this is related to the purpose of education” could be more clearly expressed as “this relates to the purpose of education,” and “thier knowledge” should be “their knowledge.” Refining word choices and ensuring correct spelling will improve the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, using a more formal tone throughout the essay will help maintain a consistent and appropriate style.
The essay demonstrates a good control of a wide range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. The essay contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. These include issues with punctuation, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. For example, “This ability to innovate is not only essential in art fields, but also in profession such as engineering, business and technology, where problem- solving and innovations are key” should be “This ability to innovate is essential not only in art fields, but also in professions such as engineering, business, and technology, where problem-solving and innovation are key.” Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including correct verb forms and preposition usage, will improve the overall quality of the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument regarding the necessity of art education for school children. The writer presents a clear introduction and conclusion, stating their opinion and providing arguments for both perspectives. The essay could be further improved by providing more specific examples and by ensuring that all arguments are fully developed and supported.
Suggestions
- Make sure to fully develop all of your arguments and support them with specific examples.