Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The role of technologies in crime prevention is a topic of heated debate. Some argue that it has helped to reduce crime rates, while others claim that the effect of these devices were reverse, as they paved the way for a rise in criminal actions. Although technologies play a crucial role in deterring offences, I side with the latter view.
Some point out that the integration of technological advancements in police force facilitates in impeding criminal actions. In their view, technological gadgets such as CCTVs which are capable of accurately portraying faces can act as a deterrent to criminals, since escaping from the consequences of their actions is almost impossible. This development has caused a sense of fear among the public, eventually encouraging them to obey all the laws. A case in point is Singapore and South Korea – the countries which are acknowledged to have the least crime rate as a result of applying modern technologies. Not only does this incorporation foster a sense of security, but also it eradicates the underlying criminal intentions. Were it not for these gadgets, the police would struggle to detect offenders. This goes to show the importance of technologies in the identification of criminals.
Despite its help in prevention of illegal actions, I believe that technology has simultaneously allowed new types of crime to emerge. Digitization has affected all parts of people’s lives, including the storage of personal information and financial transactions. No longer do we all live in a time when individuals relied on paper documents, which, on the face of it, seems to be a reasonably desirable shift. However, this means that we all are now vulnerable to cybercrimes, such as identity theft and frauds, criminal actions that were unheard of in the past. Today, it is possible for hackers to completely eliminate the existence of a person from records with a click of a few buttons, and the situation has become so bad that they can even gain the possession of belongings such as cars, bank accounts and houses. Such turn of events, certainly, raise concerns regarding public safety. Especially recent events which showed that large tech companies such as Facebook, TikTok and Google had been revealing personal data of users to third-parties increased public worries, which demonstrates the ease of data breach.
To conclude, true, technological gadgets such as camera surveilance has been a great help to the police to detect and identify offenders easily, which as a result has discouraged individuals from becoming involved in unlawful actions. However, I remain convinced that with the advent of technologies came a rise in cybercrimes which pose threat to public safety.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Make sure that your ideas are fully developed and explained.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay shows a good control of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. However, there are a few sentences that could be rephrased for clarity.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. Both sides of the argument are discussed in detail and supported with relevant examples. However, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the key points and restating the position.
Suggestions
- Make sure the conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and restates the position.