The diagram shows the recycling process of aluminium cans
The diagram below illustrates how to recycling of aluminium cans.Overall it is clear from the diagram that there are a lot of stages until it is capable to utilise
First of all, people use aluminium cans and they throw them to the trash bin.After that collecting machine come to here to collect them. At the second stage they are delivered to cleaning then they will be sorted in a sequence being sorted they are shredded and compressed in a machine at the third phase.Having compressed cans melt and heat.Finally the half process is done and they get to basic stages
When it comes to the fifth section the cans are rolled with thick paper which is 2.5 and 6 mm.Subsquently it will be ready to recycling.At the last phase they are able to reuse with 74%
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the process. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to that topic.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the process. However, the essay could be improved by providing more detailed explanations at each stage of the process.
Suggestions
- Provide more detailed explanations at each stage of the process.
- Use a wider range of transition words and phrases to make the writing more cohesive.