The diagram shows the recycling process of aluminium
WRITING TASK. 1
The diagram illustrates the reproducing press of aluminium cans .Overall, the informatsion by choosing and reporting the major features and do comparisons where relevant .And in this diagram is the main features cleaning , sortning,shredding and compressing . First of all, by humans recycle waste aluminium cans .
Next to this ,drived by government ctaffs that special trank collect the amount of working cans .And this , all of these products cleaning , soarting , shredding and compressing by vital machine .
Espicially, cleaning and sortning that for aluminium cans are crucial .Additionally , the percentage of cans also heating and melting .And this process is more important for recycling things.That is more, they rolling roughtly 2,5 mm and 6mm thick .After a while , they send recycling in this progress .Finally , aluminium cans reusing approximently 74% recycled in the UK.
SODIQOVA DURDONA.
The essay lacks clear organization and logical progression of ideas. There are abrupt transitions and a lack of clear paragraphing.
Suggestions
- Use clear paragraphing to separate different stages of the process.
- Improve transitions between sentences and ideas.
- Ensure the sequence of the process is logically presented.
The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary with several spelling errors and informal language.
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms and sentence structures.
The essay attempts to describe the process but lacks clarity and detail in explaining each stage.
Suggestions
- Provide a clearer description of each stage of the recycling process.
- Ensure all steps in the diagram are covered and explained.
- Use more precise language to describe the process.