A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Given the power and influence of the super rich, it might seem as if social status and material possessions are the new symbols of personal worth, but in everyday life I do not think this is true.
It is apparent that most celebrities today are admired or envied solely for their material wealth or position in various social hierarchies. Many of these people are known to turn their backs on friends, cheat on their spouses or spend their evenings over-indulging in alcohol and/or drugs. Things like owning a mansion, driving an expensive car and getting into A-list parties are exalted above old-fashioned values Ultimately, though, it is the many readers of gossip magazines and celebrity blogs who reinforce these ideas.
Nevertheless, I do believe that in their day-to-day lives most people still believe in values such as honour, kindness and trust. In some way most of us want to form loving families, raise our children to be good citizens, stand up for the downtrodden and protect our communities from harm. We still form friendships, romances and business partnerships based on old-fashioned criteria. When our trust is abused or we are unfairly treated, we see that as a major violation of our relationship and we judge the wrongdoer accordingly.
In conclusion, I believe there is some truth to the notion that status and possessions have superseded old-fashioned values as a measure of a person’s worth. Looking beyond the tabloids, however, it is apparent that most ordinary people have still preserved an old-fashioned conscience.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Ensure that your examples are directly relevant to the point you are making.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are few grammatical errors, but they do not impede communication.
The essay addresses the task fully and presents a well-developed response. The writer’s position is clear throughout the essay. However, the introduction could be improved to better introduce the topic and the writer’s position.
Suggestions
- Consider revising the introduction to provide a clearer and more direct statement of the topic and the writer’s position.