Nowadays, it seems that different generations within the family spend less time doing activities together.
In recent years, it has become a common topic to decrease the time different generations in the family spend on doing activities due to modern lifestyles, advancements in technology, and other social dynamics. Although there are some drawbacks of this, I believe it has beneficial sides.
The main drawback of this trend is that the lifestyle has been changing over the years. Young people may not have the opportunity to interact with older ones, this is because they often have to work long hours to cover their expenses and professional demands. Additionally, the increase in technologies also plays a significant role in which divide different aged people. In other words, younger family members spend most of their time on social media, gaming, or just browsing the internet which makes them isolate with olders.
Despite these negatives, I believe there are some benefits of different generations within the family spending time together. Firstly, this allows young people to learn social exposure. Youth can spend more time building friendships outside the family so they are able to expand their social circle in society. Secondly, another benefit can be personal growth. For example, younger generations spend time focusing on studying or advancing their careers according to their preferences.
In conclusion, I recognize the disadvantages of spending time separately in different ages. I consider this trend has also positive developments.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s position.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your position.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are some sentences that could be more clearly expressed. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and shows a good command of grammar and punctuation. However, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected for clarity and accuracy.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed, with more specific examples needed to support the points made. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s position.
Suggestions
- Ensure that your argument is fully developed and supported with specific examples.
- Make sure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and clearly states your position.