the table shows the production of the workforce who are women and the percentage of managers who are women in five different countries
The given table compares five countries in terms of the percentage of women in the workforce and the percentage of female managers.
Overall, the highest proportion of women in the workforce is observed in Japan, whereas the lowest is in Egypt.However, in terms of female managers, the United States and Australia lead, whereas Sri Lanka has the smallest share.
In Japan, 48% of the workforce is made up of women, which is the highest among the countries listed, but only 17% of managers are women. Similarly, the United States has a high proportion of women in the workforce at 46%, with an equal 43% representation of women in managerial roles. Australia has slightly fewer women in its workforce at 42%, but a comparable 43% hold managerial positions.
By contrast, Sri Lanka and Egypt report much lower percentages. In Sri Lanka, women constitute 41% of the workforce, but only 9% of managers. Egypt shows the lowest figures, with just 20% of the workforce and 12% of managers being female.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. The writer uses cohesive devices effectively to link ideas and paragraphs, ensuring a smooth flow of information. The comparison between countries is well-managed, with clear transitions that enhance readability.
Suggestions
- Consider using a wider range of linking words or phrases to avoid repetition and to further improve the flow of information.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, particularly in terms of quantifiers and comparatives. The language is generally precise and appropriate for the task. However, there are a few instances where word choice could be improved for greater variety and sophistication.
The essay demonstrates a good command of complex grammatical structures. There are few grammatical errors, and these do not impede overall understanding. The use of passive constructions and comparative structures is effective.
The essay provides a detailed and accurate summary of the information presented in the table. It clearly identifies the countries with the highest and lowest percentages of women in the workforce and in managerial positions. The report meets the task requirements well.
Suggestions
- Ensure that all data in the table is accurately represented in the essay. Double-check your work to avoid minor errors, as these can still impact the overall score.