Some argue that schools should prioritize life skills such as working in teams and solving problems instead of traditional academics. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people believe that school should encourage children to learn personal skills like how to tackle certain issues and working in a group, as they can be beneficial for children rather than school curriculum. Therefore, I completely agree with this given view because only prioritizing school subjects cannot guarantee the future.
These days, many educational institutions are teaching schoolchildren in a very traditional way, like basic calculating, making presentations, and giving them a lot of homework. As a result, more and more teenagers are dropping schools since they are not interested in a conservative teaching style. In addition, most teachers at school are senior people; hence, the teaching method can also be old-fashioned and repetitive because older teachers are not energetic enough to make the lessons vibrant. For example, in Uzbekistan, many schools, especially in the rural areas, still rely on traditional academics; consequently, the vast majority of young schoolboys give up attending the school and start working elsewhere.
If secondary schools had concentrated on teaching other life skills, such as how to work with others or how to enhance communication skills, a number of young school graduates would easily find their paths in life. For instance, Robert Kyosaki, who wrote a book called Rich Dad and Poor Dad, highlighted some important skills related to finance and how to become financially free. As he explained in the book, the traditional way of teaching is no longer useful. Because most schools don’t teach how to make money.
In conclusion, schools are wouldn’t be essential place if they hadn’t stopped teaching traditionally since the worlds is changing and so the schools should
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion is incomplete and does not effectively summarize the main points or reinforce the argument.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to complete the conclusion by summarizing the main points and reinforcing the argument.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors and awkward constructions that hinder understanding. The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that can hinder understanding. These include errors in subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and preposition use. Additionally, there are some awkward phrasings that could be revised for clarity and precision.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the importance of prioritizing personal skills over traditional academics in schools. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay could benefit from a more detailed introduction and conclusion.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the argument is fully developed and supported with specific examples.