Some argue that schools should prioritize life skills such as working in teams and solving problems instead of traditional academics. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people believe that school should encourage children to learn personal skills like how to tackle certain issues and working in a group, as they can be beneficial for children rather than school curriculum. Therefore, I completely agree with this given view because only prioritizing school subjects cannot guarantee the future.
These days, many educational institutions are teaching schoolchildren in a very traditional way, like basic calculating, making presentations, and giving them a lot of homework. As a result, more and more teenagers are dropping schools since they are not interested in a conservative teaching style. In addition, most teachers at school are senior people; hence, the teaching method can also be old-fashioned and repetitive because older teachers are not energetic enough to make the lessons vibrant. For example, in Uzbekistan, many schools, especially in the rural areas, still rely on traditional academics; consequently, the vast majority of young schoolboys give up attending the school and start working elsewhere.
If secondary schools had concentrated on teaching other life skills, such as how to work with others or how to enhance communication skills, a number of young school graduates would easily find their paths in life. For instance, Robert Kyosaki, who wrote a book called Rich Dad and Poor Dad, highlighted some important skills related to finance and how to become financially free. As he explained in the book, the traditional way of teaching is no longer useful. Because most schools don’t teach how to make money.
In conclusion, schools are wouldn’t be essential place if they hadn’t stopped teaching traditionally since the worlds is changing and so the schools should
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or lacking, which can make the argument less clear. Additionally, there are some issues with coherence, as the connection between ideas can sometimes be weak or unclear.
Suggestions
- Try to use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure that your conclusion is fully developed and clearly related to the rest of the essay.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the essay.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and shows a good control of grammar and punctuation. However, there are some errors in grammar, punctuation, and spelling, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the essay.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay could provide more specific examples to support the points made.
Suggestions
- Try to develop your argument more fully and provide specific examples to support your points.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and is well-developed.