Some people argue that parents should have a strong influence on their children’s choice of friends and life partners. Others believe that young people should make these decisions independently. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is claimed that parents ought to provide a strong impact on their determining friendships and life companions. Others, however, think youth have to have independence once making decisions. I am convinced that, in some cases where teenagers struggle to address certain problems, they can receive help from their parents, which is acceptable. But sometimes they need to opt for choices on their own.
The influence of parents is often necessary in resolving significant issues in children’s lives, which can limit some young people’s autonomy and necessitate parental guidance. When children get into some difficulties, especially where they have to make the relevant choice, they will ask or discuss how to complete the problem with the help of parents. Since parents have their live experience, they might give the exact selection. For example, after they get older, they have to find a partner to live in their life together. Thus, they may seek guidance to help them find the partner they truly desire. Another reason why the parents have the ability to make the correct conclusion is that they know cultural values, ensuring they grow up with a strong sense of identity and moral guidance. The moral compass, meaning parents can judge what is right or wrong, and they can help to teach how to maintain the emotions better. For instance, children may not know how to find a job or maybe work better. By seeking advice from their parents on how to address these issues, children can develop their problem-solving skills, as their parents have likely faced similar situations, made mistakes, and learned from them.
Leveraging parental influence on young people’s lives may be beneficial, given that parents possess a moral compass and more life experience than the youth. However, sometimes they have to find a solution on their own, meaning self-determination should be improved to control their life on their own. If they have individuality to form a judgement, they will be respected by other people, because these kinds of people are rare, and they are unique in qualities, which makes them different. A young person who successfully navigates challenges independently may earn a respected place in society, as they have the critical thinking skills to make sound decisions. Additionally, individuals who are able to make decisions independently may not need to place their trust in others, as they have developed their own perspectives and decision-making abilities, making them less susceptible to the influence of others and better equipped to make decisions on their own.
In summary, while children may eventually make their own choices through self-determination, I believe that parental involvement, providing not only guidance but also drawing from life experience, is far more beneficial. This involvement can help children develop emotional stability and make informed decisions.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions

Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. For example, “they can receive help from their parents, which is acceptable” could be rephrased as “they can receive help from their parents, which is often acceptable or necessary” to provide a more precise expression of the idea.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free from grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect phrasing that could be revised for clarity. For example, “Another reason why the parents have the ability to make the correct conclusion is that they know cultural values, ensuring they grow up with a strong sense of identity and moral guidance” could be rephrased as “Another reason parents are often able to make the right decision is that they are well-versed in cultural values, which ensures a strong sense of identity and moral guidance in their children.”

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. The introduction and conclusion are well-developed, and the essay provides relevant examples to support the arguments. However, the essay could benefit from a more in-depth exploration of the reasons behind the opposing views.