The diagram gives information about reproduce aluminium cans
The picture illustrates that the recycling process of aluminium cans.
Overall, it can be seen that the diagram shows that there are seven processes in the diagram.
Firstly, many people bought aluminium cans and they used cans. And then, they throw out cans. Next, trash collectors collect the rubbish. And the cars delevered in factories.
Following this, big devices were cleaning, sorting, shredding, and compressing. Subsequently, it was heating and melting special devices.Following that, it was rolling 2.5 mm – 6 mm thick.
And cans reproduce in special factories.
At the end stages, aluminium cans are reusing at 41% recycled in United Kingdom.
Haydarova Muxlisa
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and the essay sometimes lacks overall coherence.
Suggestions
- Try to use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your writing.
- Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and by making the language more academic.
Suggestions
- Try to provide more specific details and data to support your main points.
- Make the language more academic and formal.
- Ensure that all sentences are grammatically correct and that they are well structured.