Nowadays , more fathers stay at home and take care of children while mothers go out to work . Why is this the case ? Is this positive or negative development ?

With evolving societal norms and advanced gender equality , it has become increasingly commonplace for women to pursue careers outside the home , particularly in urban environments . While this situation can be attributed to a confluence of practical and emotional factors , I believe that it represents a positive shift towards individual empowerment.
In current life , the number of women is going out to work as breadwinners , whereas spouse of them prefers stay at home and look after their children . In my opinion , the fundamental factor for this is the increasing cost of living standarts , such as housing , education and change in tax rates . As fathers find it difficult to supply their family needs , economic realities drive women to work outside so as to live easily . Additionally , not only do living requirements push women to go out to work , but can their ambitions influence on their choice , as well . Due to the fact that women grow up with their own desires from childhood .
At the same time , it is important to acknowledge that one significant advantage of women’s working is gender equality . As a result of women’ full participation in workforce , the governments can achieve efficacious medicine . According to statistics , 89% of nurses are women and above 65% of doctors are also women because of the fact that the major role is played by women. In fact , they exert a promounced effect on technology. A mathematician , Johnson , can be a concrete example who works at NASA, helped Apollo moon landing mission and was awarded the Presidential medal in 2016 . To be more precise , societies can benefit from women’s great work.
In conclusion , today , women are required to work , whilist fathers take care of their children owing to living standarts and financial burdens . Moreover , women’s aid may be positive outcome for the government .

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the connection between some ideas and paragraphs could be improved. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the link between different points could be made clearer. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “living standarts” should be “living standards,” and “whilist” should be “while.” Correcting these errors would improve the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to convey the ideas more effectively.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that can be distracting for the reader. The essay contains several grammatical errors that affect the overall clarity and readability. For example, “whilist” should be “while,” and “living standarts” should be “living standards.” Correcting these errors would improve the overall quality of the essay. Additionally, the use of more varied sentence structures could help to make the writing more engaging and dynamic.

The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons why more fathers are staying at home to take care of children and the implications of this trend. The writer presents a clear explanation of the factors contributing to this shift, such as the high cost of living and the push for gender equality. The argument is well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the essay could benefit from a more detailed exploration of the potential drawbacks of this trend to provide a more balanced perspective.