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People have different views about whether economic success is the chance to put an end to poverty or causing damage to the environment which leads to the perception of abandoning it. In this essay, I will explore both sides of the debate and give my perspective.
On the one hand, economically successful countries usually have rich populations. Firstly, economic success requires a number of factories, as these factories need people to work in them which encourage that country’s population to get jobs and earn money for their basic needs. Secondly, several economically successful countries mainly focus on educating individuals to maintain their industrial achievement. For instance, when a person is smart and well trained, he or she tends to work hard to overcome poverty by using his or her knowledge or skills. Finally, economic development leads to lower price in basic needs which helps to reduce poverty.
On the other hand, economic success comes with the cost of the environment. Factories, which have vital role in industrial success, contribute to air pollution due to emitting greenhouse gasses. In addition, more cars are manufactured which have significant effect on the environment, as country develops. Furthermore, there are other ways to end poverty such as educating population properly while they are still at school.
In conclusion, while economic development has a crucial role in population’s income, its damages are too big to ignore. I believe that training and educating people is effective way of tackling the problems of poverty
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
- Consider using more complex sentence structures to improve the overall flow of the essay.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “rich populations” could be more accurately described as “economically successful countries,” and “put an end to poverty” is a bit informal for an academic essay. Refining word choice and ensuring the use of more formal language will improve the overall quality of the essay. Additionally, ensuring correct spelling and grammar usage will enhance clarity and professionalism.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are a few instances of incorrect or awkward sentence construction. The essay contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. These include issues with punctuation, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. For example, in the sentence “I believe that training and educating people is effective way of tackling the problems of poverty,” the article “the” is missing before “problems.” Correcting these errors and paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy will improve the overall quality of the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the topic by discussing the relationship between economic success and poverty, as well as the environmental impact of economic growth. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the essay could be improved by providing a more detailed exploration of potential solutions to mitigating the negative environmental impact of economic growth. Additionally, the conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the main points and clearly restating the writer’s position.
Suggestions
- Consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and is well-developed.