Today, many people do not know their neighbors. Why is this? What can be done about this?

In today’s society majority of humankind is being ignored by each other with the reason of digital commucation-development, busy lifestyle with time constraints and as well as the significant increase in the number of vallians caused to mistrust and fear between them. To tackle this issue, community-related events and activities may be possible ways to make individuals aware of neighbours.
Various part of the world, many people are obsessed with working and not having enough time for their family-related gatherings or hanging out with friends since they consider, the more they work, the more they earn. Majority of them have taken up nine-to-five jobs and they are not giving them chance having extra time apart from their work life-balance and interacting with others. In some cases, this full-time jobs are considered to be good point by middle-income families in order to gain higher. According to many residents, middle-income families consists of larger part of the society.
Additionally, as technology-development being increased year-by-year, communication between people is becoming through networking, at times this situation is isolationg relationship and friendship amoung them. Resultanly, they are relying-on their technologies instead of humanity since not only there is being rise in the number of stealers and burglars in public places but also persons personal datas are being taken by hockers on the social medias and they are being spreaded without individuals permissions. Thus, they are feeling of hesitation as well as and disturst others too.
Despite this fact, there is one more good option to make neighbours familiar to each other is gathering more communitiy events and clubs-based on relativity amoung their neighbourhood cause this entertainment can allow them feel the sense of understanding and assisting each other when they need help in some regular situations.
In South Korea ordinary community is aimed to join sports club and do both phisical activities and work despite their age. This thought helps many elders to stay fit and helath and be far away from unhelthy lifestyle and active on a daily bases.
In conclusion, in today’s 21th centry determining people and assisting each other can be easily soloved by increasing community-related gathering between them and feel the sense of humanity.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the flow of ideas and the use of linking words. The essay is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in its overall coherence. However, the use of linking words and cohesive devices could be improved to better guide the reader through your arguments. Additionally, the connection between different ideas within paragraphs could be made clearer to enhance the essay’s overall cohesion.

Suggestions

Use a variety of linking words and phrases to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
Make sure that the use of pronouns is clear and unambiguous. Avoid using “they” at the beginning of a sentence.

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and some awareness of collocation. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as “digital communication,” “busy lifestyle,” and “mistrust and fear.” To further improve, aim for more precise and varied language to articulate your ideas more clearly. Additionally, be mindful of word choice to ensure the correct and effective use of terminology.

The essay shows a good control of a range of grammatical structures, but there are some errors and awkward phrasings. The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors that can hinder clarity. Paying attention to subject-verb agreement, article use, and preposition choice will help improve the grammatical accuracy of your writing. Additionally, varying your sentence structures can help to better articulate complex ideas and arguments.

The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. You have addressed the task by identifying reasons for the lack of neighborly interaction and suggesting solutions. However, the development of your ideas could be enhanced with more specific examples and a deeper analysis of the proposed solutions. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the key points discussed.