The charts show the percentage of male and female workers in three employment sectors in two countries in 2007.
The pie charts compare the share of workers in various industries in countries A and B, categorized by gender, in 2007.
Focusing on country A first, the majority of workers were employed in the service sector, at 56% for males and 49% for females. This was followed by agriculture, which attracted far more women than men, with 43% compared to 29%. Conversely, the lowest-ranking industry employed 15% of male workers versus just 8% of their female counterparts.
When it comes to country B, the patterns were somewhat different except for services, which led the pack once again. It employed almost half the female workforce at 49% and a whopping 65% of males workers. In stark contrast to country A, agricultural jobs made up the smallest percentage in the study: 3% for men and a meager 1% for women. Industrial male workers stood at 33%, which was almost three times the proportion of their female counterparts (11%)
In summary, the service industry attracted the preponderance of workers across the board, with males exhibiting a noticeable lead. In country A, agriculture was the second-biggest employer, while in country B, it accounted for a neglible share of jobs.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the information. The writer uses appropriate linking words and phrases to connect ideas and make the writing flow smoothly. The information is well-sequenced, making it easy for the reader to follow the analysis.
Suggestions
- Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to show more variety in your language use.
The essay demonstrates a good command of vocabulary with a variety of words and phrases used accurately. The language is academic and appropriate for the task, with some less common and idiomatic language included.
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures and shows a high level of grammatical control. The sentences are free from grammatical errors and are well-structured.
The essay provides a detailed and accurate description of the data, making appropriate comparisons where necessary. The key features of the data are identified and well-supported with relevant information from the charts.
Suggestions
- Ensure that all data and comparisons are accurately represented in the writing. Double-check your work to avoid any potential errors.