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The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

There is a view that the working hours should be reduced in order for employees to have more leisure time on the weekends. As there is some validity to that assertion, I completely agree. The aim of this essay is to analyse both of my perspectives as well as a logical conclusion.
First and foremost, even though there is huge demand for labour in industry and other sectors, the working week should be lessened. In other words, when working hours are minimised enough, it could have a positive influence on workers’ private lives since they have more free time to engage with their personal interests like hobbies. A prime example of this is that when employees have more spare time, they could share their time with their families and also other recreational activities; thus, most individuals might develop their private lives, as parents spending their time with their children, they could pay more attention to their upbringing and social problems. By this we can see that reducing working hours will be useful for not only workers but also society.
Secondly, even more importantly, working under high load pressure and lack of rest causes serious health issues. It is an undeniable fact that human organisms are tired when you work without resting enough; it will lead to various health concerns, such as heart disease, nervous breakdown, and other illnesses, while it might cause appalling consequences for both employees and their families.
In conclusion, I once again reaffirm my stance that the mentioned idea is entirely justifiable.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions
  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
  • Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the points you have made in the essay.

The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples.

Suggestions
  • Ensure that you fully develop your argument and support it with specific examples.