Living in the Earth is becomming hard. So, more money should be spent for the the exploration of new planets that humanity can live, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
According to some individuals, majority of financial resources need to be spent into the researches for extra-terrestrial planets to live, because there there’ll be potential difficulties in the Earth that humanity can face. While the statement above is true to some extent, I personally believe that we shouldn’t overlook financial problem that it can bring and other ways to ensure our survival in the planet.
On the one hand, there many benefits of space research programs. For one thing, by exploring galaxies and star system, we can find other places that can help us to meet our needs. To explain, some planets and comets in our sun system consists a lot of natural resources that is vital for people such as oil, titan or gas. By finding these planets and ways to bring these natural supplies to the Earth, we can solve many problems experiencing by majority of industries, like scarcity of raw materials and thus decline in production rates. The greatest example will be just what NASA recently found in Comet 67P and Jupiter’s moons, Ganymede and Io. The scientists’ findings show that this space objects can supply the earth with pure gas and some other organic materials with more than 200 years and, with them, we are able to generate more than 2000 billion megawatts of energy.
On the other hand, there are some upsides of this idea. First of all, investing research programs in space is much more costly than other types of research. To make celestial investigations, large number of engineers and programmers, materials that are resistible for harsh conditions and exorbitant tools are essential. Without significant amount of investments for these, space agencies cannot cope to initiate and operate successfully their business. On top of that, nobody can guaranty that result of these projects can align with our expectations. The second reason that makes me disagree with the statement is other alternatives to survive without moving to other point in the space. In other words, we have got solutions to the issues that are threatening our lives in the planet, like climate change and contamination, and allocating money for these can be more effective than planetary examinations. Methods to deal with environmental problems ranges from ordinary and cheap water filters to expensive and giant eco cities and many of them are workable.
To conclude, cosmic studies being conducted for the sake of human existence are important for the supply of natural resources in the earth. However, they are waste of money and time, when there are variety of ways that we can bypass upcoming challenges. (431 words)
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “a lot of natural resources that is vital for people such as oil, titan or gas” should be “such as oil, titanium, and gas.” Additionally, the use of more precise and varied vocabulary could enhance the essay.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and is generally grammatically accurate. However, there are some minor errors that could be corrected. For example, “there many benefits of space research programs” should be “there are many benefits of space research programs.” Additionally, the use of more complex grammatical structures could enhance the essay.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the potential benefits of space exploration and the need to address current financial challenges. The writer presents a clear position that the focus should be on addressing the financial problems that could arise from shifting resources to space exploration. The argument is well-developed and supported with relevant points, but the essay could benefit from a more detailed exploration of counterarguments.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point.