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School should replace books with computers, games, and movies. Do you agree or disagree?

Replacing books to computers, games and movies is thought to be effective way to learn subjects in school. I strongly believe that New Technologies can be alternative to books.
Using up-to-date technologies may enhance engagement of education.While reading books,students may bored from just reading texts without any actions.However, advancement technologies can open doors for describing circumstance virtually with the help of computer. As, it can lead to understand subject more interesting and more intriguing.For example, in biology, if students use the computer for learning about flora and fauna, they may have more opportunities to understand the subject by observing real-life conditions, such as the appearance of animals, the structure of plants, and their habitat.
Moreover, The computers can access almost infinitive beneficial resources however, there is a limit for books. In other words, students can learn subjects from many sources with various perspectives.This opportunity can help to broaden their horizon and foster creativity. For instance, Students can learn math and physics from being beginners in Khan Academy for free and they have also accessibility for practise exercises.
In conclusion, although many people assume that books have been only efficient choice to learn subjects, I hold my idea that cutting-edge technologies can make lessons more interesting and improve students’ understanding by providing significant contents

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance on the issue.

Suggestions
  • Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
  • Make sure to link all the ideas in a paragraph to the main point of the paragraph.

The essay uses a variety of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the essay. Additionally, the use of synonyms could be improved to avoid repetition and enhance the lexical resource.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage, as well as some awkward phrasing. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, and the grammatical accuracy is generally good. However, there are a few instances of awkward phrasing and minor grammatical errors, such as incorrect verb forms and missing articles. These errors can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the essay.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. The introduction and conclusion are clear and effective, and the body paragraphs are well-organized and focused. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments and by ensuring that the examples are fully developed and relevant to the main point.

Suggestions
  • Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
  • Ensure that the examples are fully developed and relevant to the main point.