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The bar chart gives information about the common activities children of different ages in the United States do as part of their bedtime routines

The bar graph shows variations in the proportion of kids in three diferent age groups in the US do as part of their bedtime routines. Overall, reading is by far the most popular activity among all groups, with the lion’s share belonging to children aged 4-5, while the reverse is true for eating. It is also notable that in other pursuits, the youngest group shows noticealy lower numbers compared to older groups, except having a bath, where they show greater numbers.
Turning to the details, 70% of children aged 4-5 spend their time in bed in the United States (US), which is noticeably higher than 1-3-year-olds (65%) and 6-8-year-olds (59%). Despite this lead, they trail behind considerably in terms of brushing teeth, when those aged 4-5 and 6-8 stand at 41% and 50%, respectively. They however, hold the top spot whent it comes to having a bath, accounting for exactly 40%, marginally higher than older children (4-5 years at roughly 35% and 6-8 years at 32%).
Regarding the remaining pursuits, children spend show significantly lower numbers, regardless of their ages. While a mere 16% of kids from 1-3 years bracked watch TV, those of older children are slightly lower, with the oldest age group making up 18% and 4-5-year-olds standing at exactly 20%. The youngest kids, in stark contrast, accounted for an exactly 20%, significantly higher than older children, at almost 10%.

6.0

The essay is generally well-structured with a clear progression of ideas. However, there are instances where the coherence could be improved by using more linking words and phrases.

Suggestions
  • Use more linking words to connect ideas.
  • Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
  • Avoid abrupt transitions between topics.

The vocabulary is appropriate but lacks variety. Some phrases are repeated, and there are minor errors in word choice.

The essay contains several grammatical errors, including issues with punctuation and sentence structure. These errors sometimes obscure meaning.

The essay addresses the task effectively, describing the key trends and data from the bar chart. However, some details are inaccurately represented.

Suggestions
  • Ensure all data is accurately reported.
  • Include all relevant comparisons and contrasts.