Bar chart
The bar chart shows information about the most common activities performed by children of different ages as part of their bedtime routines in the US. Overall,while children showed higher participation levels in activities such as reading , brushing teeth and having a bath ,the percentage of other activities especially watching tv and eating was lower.The most popular activity for all age group was reading but brushing teeth was most prefered for 6-8 aged children.However, eating had the lowest involvement regardless of various aged groups. Focusing on higher activities, reading was most common activity since early ages with respectively 65 % and 70 % .As children were getting older their desire to reading also increase , not only in 6-8 year old group. Brushing teeth was also popular activity with 45-50 % , just ahead of having a bath , at about 30 % in 4-5 and 6-8 age group.There was a considerable disparity between the level of activity which was brushing teeth and having a bath in 1-3 year aged children with the former 30 % and the latter representing 40% . In contrast, regarding watching TV, 12% of 1–3-year-olds spend their time on this activity as part of their bedtime routine, whereas nearly 20% of children in the other two age groups engage in the same activity.Eating was twice as low as those for the remaing activities as part of bedtime routine. Regarding to 1-3 year old group eating had slightly difference with 4-5 and 6-8 age group.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the data. The use of cohesive devices is effective, and there is a good overall progression. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Try to vary your cohesive devices to avoid repetition.
- Make sure that your sentences flow smoothly from one to the next.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and examples.
Suggestions
- Try to provide more specific details and examples to support your main points.