Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In numerous countries , using mobile phones to make payments is becoming more widespread . Although , paying for using mobile phones may offer some drawback , I think is a change for the benefits.
On the one hand,Paying with mobile phones can be beneficial to some extent. Firstly, relying heavly on mobile phone payments increases the risk of cibercrime . with the rise of digital transactions hackers and scammers have more opportunities to steal financial informations. Even the most secure payment platforms are not entirely immune to breaches,leaving users vulnerable to significant losses.
On the other hand ,on the other hand, people get cashback and bonuses if they use their mobile phone for payment. secondly, they can easily use their money while traveling abroad. In addition, they can pay by QR code on the phone. This provides many opportunities.
To conclude , paying for using mobile phone may appear to be disadvantageous because of secure payment platforms are note entirely immune to breaches and steal to financial informations. Neverthless , I think is a change for the benefits .
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your opinion.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, but these do not impede communication. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures and there are some grammatical errors, but these do not significantly impact the overall clarity and readability of the writing. However, there are some grammatical errors that can detract from the overall quality of the writing and impact the reader’s understanding.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the development of the argument could be more balanced and the conclusion could be more effective. The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. The essay could be improved by providing a more balanced discussion of the arguments for and against mobile phone payments and by offering a more comprehensive conclusion that summarizes the main points and clearly states the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the arguments for and against are presented in a balanced way.
- Provide a more comprehensive conclusion that summarizes the main points and clearly states your opinion.