The graph shows Japanese average monthly salary (Yen) from 1953 to 1973, and the prices of black and white Television and colored Television during the same period.
The graph depicts a change in the average month salaries Japanese people and The costs of Coloured and black & white TV During the given 20 years.
Overall, what stands out from the graph is the remarkable growth of monthly salaries, which surpassed all the other factors included in the graph. Prices for coloured and black & white TV, on the other hand, dropped noticeably.
In detail , just 30 yen was calculated as a monthly salary in 1953, which had doubled by year 1963. The most striking change took place afterwards when salaries reached 180 yen a month in 1973, marking a sixfold rise since the start.
Unlike the salaries, those for coloured and black&white TVs witnessed a decline. Starting at exactly 100 yen in 1953 the costs of Black&White TVs declined gradually to just under 40yen.Joining in 1958 with a cost of 180 yen The prices of coloured one saw noticeable decline of 70 yen in 1963 and ending with around 90 yen.
The essay presents information in a logical order but lacks clear connections between some ideas.
Suggestions
- Use linking words to connect ideas more clearly.
- Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
- Clarify the comparison between salaries and TV prices.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but some expressions are awkward or unclear.
The essay demonstrates a variety of sentence structures, but there are grammatical errors that affect clarity.
The essay addresses the task and includes key information, but some details are inaccurately presented.
Suggestions
- Ensure numerical data is accurately reported.
- Clarify the trends more explicitly.
- Include all key features shown in the graph.