Participation by club members
The chart illustrates the proportion of club members taking part in three different activities, namely swimming, team sports and gym activities over a period spanning from 1995 to 2015.
Overall, the graph shows a significant upward trend in gym activities, while swimming experienced a dramatic fall. Additionally, team sports remained almost unchanged throughout the period.
Looking at the details, initially, gym activities accounted for around 5% in 1995 before surging to about 25% by 2010 – marking a five-fold increase. However, it then fell minimally in the last five years, finishing at approximately 22% in 2015.
In contrast, despite being predominant at 50% in 1995 – the highest proportion over the whole period – it then dipped by 2010, decreasing to 15%. At this point, it experienced leveling off by the end of the period,staying at 15%.
Looking at team sports, it did not show big changes during the period. Staying at just over 30% in the first five years, before hitting a peak of 40% in 2010. However, it fell significantly by 2015, reaching about 30%, the biggest rate at the end of the period – matching with its initial figure.
The essay is generally well-organized with a clear structure. There is a logical progression of ideas, but some transitions could be smoother.
Suggestions
- Use more cohesive devices to link ideas.
- Ensure consistent use of tenses.
- Clarify comparisons between activities.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary accurately, though some phrases are slightly repetitive or awkward.
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, but there are some errors in sentence structure and punctuation.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and provides a clear overview of the main trends. Some data interpretation could be more precise.
Suggestions
- Ensure all data points are accurately interpreted.
- Provide a clearer comparison of trends.