Watching television is bad for children.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Developed technologies like television play a crucial role in children’s lives. Although television knows no boundaries, it still has a positive impact on children. In my opinion, television is a device that has educational advantages and entertaining shows.
One of the main benefits of television is that it contains shows which help children in their study time, such as BBC Kids. These kinds of programs teach subjects like: language, math and science, using ways of entertainment that contribute to their study. They have animation clips that educate how to calculate or how to think by utilizing visuals of children’s favorite 2D characters. When a child starts seeing it, he becomes active. Then his mind is open to receiving all kinds of information. Research shows that young ones have an effective response to visuals because their brains at this age learn effectively through images. Television Educational shows save time and effort.
Furthermore, television has entertaining benefits for kids. For instance, a show like Teletpase has proven massive success in children’s age, due to the way of soft and simple messages that it delivers. It helps to channel their energy, change their mood and health, which will have a long term positive effect.. Also, the media can distract them from crying for a long time, which is harmful to their mental health. It also keeps them away from searching for things that could lead to fatal situations.
To sum up, the usage of television may lead to fatal mistakes, but the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. therefore complete removal from Kids is ungranted.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s position.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph and to link them back to the main point of the essay.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource, with a variety of vocabulary and some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more formal language could be increased to better fit the tone of an academic essay.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there is a good range of structures. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions that can be distracting for the reader. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors that can hinder the reader’s understanding. For example, there are issues with subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and preposition use. Proofreading is recommended to correct these errors and improve the overall clarity and accuracy of the essay. Additionally, the use of more formal language could be increased to better fit the tone of an academic essay.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The writer provides relevant examples to support their points and ensures that each paragraph has a clear focus. However, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly restating the writer’s position.