The diagram below shows the recycling process of aluminium cans.
The picture shows the steps in the process of recycling aluminum cans from junk to useful parts . The process involves 11 steps , consisting of bringing in junk , cleaning with water , shredding and conditioning. The steps require a complicated process, which means that it takes a long time .
Initially, the waste needed to create aluminum cans is brought to deposits in cars . The first step is that, each of them is thoroughly washed , which ensures their reliability. In the next process , they are all crushed until they are bought to the desired state . Also, they are cleaned from the chemical substances present in them before they go to another process.
The following step is that, they are heated to normal temperature almost free of all chemicals. In a suitable way, they put in their moulds, thereby they lose their uncomfortable appearance. Knowing their exact weight at the last step before putting them on a special machine will increase the efficiency of the work . Also , the finished product is delivered to all the places where it needs to be sold .
The essay follows the sequence of the recycling process but lacks clear transitions between steps and some details are omitted.
Suggestions
- Use linking words to improve flow.
- Ensure all steps are clearly described.
- Avoid unnecessary repetition.
The vocabulary is basic and sometimes repetitive. Some words are used inaccurately.
The essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures.
The essay describes the recycling process but misses some key details and specific steps.
Suggestions
- Include all steps shown in the diagram.
- Provide more specific details about each step.