The graph below shows information about the use of public transport in one country,by age group and location of residence.
The line graph compares the proportion of different age groups who resided in a large city or others in terms of the use of public transport.
Overall, the percentage of large city residents between 15 and 60 using the public transport exhibited higher numbers, especially that of those aged 31 -45 , while the reverse was true for those in the 61 – 75 and 75+ age groups. As for other residents using the public transportation had much lower numbers compared to large city residents.
There was a considerable variation between the age categories living in the large city. The youngest age group using the public transportation made up 40%, well ahead of people aged 16 – 30, at 54% By far the greatest percentage of residents using the public transport was the middle age group(31-45), accounting for around 70%. The figure for people in the 46-60 age bracket took up 40%, making it four times higher than those aged 61 – 75. 15% of the oldest age group used the public transportation.
As far as other residents are concerned, they differed slightly between age groups. The percentage of other residents from 15 age category stood at 15%, followed distantly by those aged 16- 30 age group who the figure was 26%. The proportion of people aged 31-45 constituted partiy with those in the 46-60 age bracket ,at around 14% . The figure for other residents between 61 and 75 using the public transport was slightly more than those living in the large city, with 20%. The oldest age group was responsible for 7 %, making it a group who used the public transport the least among the 5 age group in both areas.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. The information is sequenced in a way that makes it easy to follow the trends in the data. However, there are a few areas where the flow of information could be improved.
Suggestions
- Use a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Consider using more varied linking words to connect your ideas and sentences.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances where word choice could be improved.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are very few grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances where sentence structure and punctuation could be improved.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and examples.
Suggestions
- Include more specific data and examples to support your main points.
- Consider comparing and contrasting the data in more detail to provide a deeper analysis.