Islip
The presented maps show current and proposed layouts of the town center of Islip.
The illustrations represent upcoming changes in three major areas namely transport, residential and commercial facilities.
A main road currently crosses the town center along the rows of shops on both sides. The road is expected to be pedestrianized making the center much more shopping-friendly area. A new bus station will be introduced in the north-west while a new car park is planned to be constructed near the bus station. Another striking change related to the transport infrastructe is the building a ring road around the town center which will be a dual carriageway.
As regards shops in the town center, the ones on the southern side of the current main road will be kept intact, on the other hand, the shops on the opposite side will be demolished and the area will be filled with the bus station, the car park and the erection of a new shopping center and housing properties.
The area of the park in the south-east will be reduced at the expense of building new houses. The school will keep its location in the south, however, the size is agreed to expand to a limited extent and the school will be more accessible through the ring road.
The essay is logically organized and uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately. However, there are a few areas where the use of cohesive devices could be improved for better flow and connection between ideas.
Suggestions
- Consider using more varied cohesive devices to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to that topic.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect grammatical constructions that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the information provided. The essay also makes appropriate comparisons where relevant. However, the essay could be improved by providing more detailed explanations and analysis of the changes.
Suggestions
- Try to provide more detailed explanations and analysis of the changes shown in the diagrams. This will help to provide a more comprehensive and in-depth response to the task.