Overpopulation in many major urban centers around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this problem be solved?
Nowadays overpopulation has become one of the most widespread issues in megacities. This problem is mainly the result of poor urbanization planning. This issue can be addressed by improving quality of life in the rural area
This trouble is primarily attributed to low life standards in the countryside. Frequently, in big cities, especially capitals, the economy is more developed
compared to the other cities. Due to their urbanization, there are more workplaces, which means that megacities can provide jobs for people of any qualification or even without one. Moreover, average annual salary in these cities is often higher than in the countryside. Therefore, a lot of people from villages or small towns find the prospect of moving into urban centers as the best place to live
To address this issue, it’s essential to urbanize countryside. The lack of job often forces people to migrate and solving this problem can significantly reduce the increase of population in urban centers. On the one hand, these improvements require a lot of workers and professionals, creating job opportunities. On the other hand, the result of these innovations will lead to better conditions for life that motivate people to stay in rural areas. The example of successful urbanization campaign in the countryside is Sweden, where population is not concentrated on some spots
In conclusion, overpopulation is largely led by inadequate urbanization which has failed to sufficiently address the needs of rural area significantly. However, this issue can be mitigated by enhancing the living standards in such areas
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Make sure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as “overpopulation,” “urbanization,” and “rural areas.” However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision. For example, in the sentence “This trouble is primarily attributed to low life standards in the countryside,” the phrase “low life standards” should be “lower living standards.” Additionally, the term “urbanization campaign” may not be the most appropriate choice here; “urbanization efforts” or “rural development initiatives” may be more accurate.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and shows a good command of grammar and punctuation. However, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected for clarity and precision. For example, in the sentence “The example of successful urbanization campaign in the countryside is Sweden, where population is not concentrated on some spots,” the phrase “where population is not concentrated on some spots” is awkward and unclear. It would be more precise to say “where the population is more evenly distributed.” Additionally, the term “urbanization campaign” may not be the most appropriate choice here; “urbanization efforts” or “rural development initiatives” may be more accurate.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the causes of overpopulation in urban centers and suggesting potential solutions. The writer presents a clear explanation of how poor urbanization planning and the migration of people from rural areas to urban centers contribute to overpopulation. The argument is well-developed and supported with relevant examples. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the proposed solution. However, the essay could benefit from a more detailed exploration of the potential challenges and drawbacks of the proposed solution.
Suggestions
- Make sure to fully develop your arguments and provide specific examples to support your points.
- Consider discussing potential challenges and drawbacks of the proposed solution in more detail.