Nowadays, there is more and more competition for getting into university Is this a positive or negative development?
In recent times, gaining entry into a university is becoming increasingly competitive. Although this development has some positive aspects, the negative ones, such as stress and inequality, outweigh them.
At first glance, the increasing competition for getting into university could be very tempting. One reason is that this shift can motivate students to work harder and achieve better academic results, which can lead to higher standards of education. Additionally, such competition encourages innovation in teaching methods as institutions are encouraged to improve their facilities, curriculums, and overall quality to attract the best students. Furthermore, students may develop essential life skills, such as time management, resilience, and critical thinking, while preparing for university admission.
Despite its benefits, this trend poses several significant drawbacks that cannot be overlooked. Firstly, students from underprivileged backgrounds may struggle to compete with those who have better resources and opportunities. In addition, there will be some limited opportunities since not all deserving students can get into top universities due to limited spots, leaving many of them disheartened. Moreover, increased competition can result in stress, pressure, anxiety, burnout, and other health problems among students. For instance, many students preparing for university admissions spend long hours studying, often neglecting their physical health. This can lead to issues such as eye strain from excessive screen time or sleep deprivation due to inadequate rest. Over time, such habits can have lasting effects on their overall well-being, highlighting the need for a balanced approach to education.
In conclusion, while competition can drive improvement and excellence, it can also create some challenges for students such as health issues.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Ensure that your examples are directly relevant to the point you are making.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples of the positive aspects of competition.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples of the positive aspects of competition to balance the argument. For example, you could discuss how competition has led to advancements in technology and education, or how it has motivated students to pursue their passions.