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In many countries people have to go away from their family and friends to find work. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

People in several parts of the world often migrate to other cities or even countries to seek employment. While such migration has certain benefits, I believe that it is more likely to have detrimental effects.
The advantages of working in a place far away from your hometown or native country can be two-fold. First, jobs in cities normally offer better career prospects than those in rural areas. Rural migrants, for example, can receive higher wages and better benefits for doing the same type of tasks as in villages, and can be given more opportunities to move up the career ladder. Moreover, such migrants may also develop as individuals. Because they now need to be in charge all aspects of their own lives including cooking, shopping and budgeting, they start becoming more self-reliant.
However, these benefits of working far away from home normally feel minor when compared to its negative consequences. Working migrants usually lack the emotional support of their family members and friends, and therefore suffer from a sense of isolation. This problem is further exacerbated by the difficulty to establish close relationships as adults in a new place. In addition, people who build their careers in a new place often feel reluctant to abandon all the professional progress they have made and move back home to take care of their close ones. This can still be the case even if they have little career success as they can feel alienated from their hometown, especially after staying in the new place for an extended period of time. Obviously, this can lead to broken family ties.
In conclusion, migrating to other places in search of work can provide better opportunities for career development and self-improvement; however, the emotional and social issues this form of migration causes are far more worrisome.

7.5

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions
  • Consider using more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication.

The essay addresses the task effectively and presents a clear position throughout the response. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.

Suggestions
  • Consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments.