ess
The table and pie charts provide data on the police income for 2017 and 2018 in a particular area of Britain. While the table illustrates where the revenue came from, the pie charts show how it was spent.
Overall, most of the police budget came from Nationak Government in both years, the revenue of police experienced a significant rise. Salaries were the dominant in the money distrubtion, with buildings and transport remaining steady.
In 2017, the money came from National Government accounted for 175.5 million euros, compared to 91.2 million from Local Taxes and 38 million from other sources such as grants, The income from National government increased slightly to 177.8 million, whereas the figure of Local Taxes grew substantially to 102.3 million in 2018. Similarly, the number of other sources saw a modest growth of 0.5 million euros. Due to increase in all sectors, total income increased considerably from 304.7 million in 2017 to 318.6 million in 2018.
In 2017, 75% of revenue was spent on salaries (officers and staff), while 17% was distributed on buildings and transport and 8% was for technology. The figure of technology showed a gradual rise to 14%, while the proportion of salaries decreased moderately to 69% in 2018. The percentage of income which was spent on buildings and transport had no change over the period.
The essay presents information in a logical order, but some transitions and connections between ideas are missing or unclear.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to connect ideas.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
- Clarify comparisons between years.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary, but there are some spelling errors and repetitive phrases.
The essay shows a range of sentence structures, but there are grammatical errors that affect clarity.
The essay addresses the task and describes the data accurately, but lacks depth in analysis and some details.
Suggestions
- Include more detailed comparisons between years.
- Provide a clearer summary of key trends.
- Avoid repetition of similar points.