he table and charts below give information about doctors in one country between 1986 and 2006.
The table shows the total number of doctors in Australia from 1986 to 2006, while the bar charts compare the doctors by their sex and birth place over the same period. Overall, there was a noticeable rise in the total number of health professionals in Australia, with more women entering the Healthcare system. Notably, the gap between the numbers of native and foreign doctors in Australia shrank to an equality.
As for the gender of the doctors in Australia, the shares of male and female doctors followed opposite trends. In 1986, among 23,720 doctors, a dominating 75% were men and only a quarter were women. Since then the percentage of male doctors began to decrease, reaching just below 70% after a decade, when the total number of doctors in Australia was 29,060. This pattern continued, and after another ten years, the share of female doctors was slightly below 40%.
Regarding the birthplace of the doctors, the number of doctors from overseas countries increased considerably over the period. Initially, the share of doctors born in Australia was over 60%, a figure that then decreased slightly to below 60% in 1986. Starting at over 40% in 1986, the percentage of foreign doctors accounted for exactly half of the total in 2006, which was 35,450.
The essay is well-organized with a clear overall progression. Information is logically structured, but some transitions could be smoother.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to enhance flow.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
- Avoid abrupt changes in topics.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with some precise word choices. However, there is occasional repetition.
The essay displays a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors.
The essay effectively addresses the task, summarizing the main features and making relevant comparisons. It provides a clear overview and covers key details.
Suggestions
- Ensure all data points are accurately interpreted.
- Include more specific data comparisons where relevant.