The table and charts below give information about doctors in one country between 1986 and 2006.
The table shows the total number of doctors in Australia from 1986 to 2006, while the tables compare the doctors by their sex and birth place over the same period. Overall, there was a noticeable rise in the total number of health professionals in Australia, with more women getting a job in Healthcare system. Notably, the gap between the numbers of native and foreign doctors in Australia shrunk to an equality.
As for the gender of the doctors in Australia, the shares of male and female doctors followed a reverse trend. In 1986, out of 23,720 doctors, an exaggerating 75% were men and only a forth of them were women. Since then the percentage of male doctors began to decrease, reaching just below 70% after a decade, when the total number of doctors in Australia was 29,060. This pattern continued and after another ten years the share of female doctors was just below 40%.
Regarding the birth place of the doctors, the number of doctors who were from overseas countries increased considerably over the period. Initially, the share of doctors who were born in Australia was over 60%, a figure that then decrease slightly to below 60% in 1986. Being at over 40% in 1986, the percentage of foreign doctors accounted for exactly a half of the total, which was 35,450 in 2006.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the information. The writer uses appropriate cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs. However, there are a few areas where the flow of information could be improved.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Consider using more topic sentences to clearly introduce the main idea of each paragraph.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay makes use of a variety of complex structures and generally uses them accurately. However, there are a few grammatical errors that need to be addressed.
The essay provides a clear overview of the information and makes specific comparisons where relevant. The writer presents key features and significant trends, but there are a few inaccuracies in the interpretation of the data.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the data is accurately interpreted and clearly presented.
- Make sure to use the correct units of measurement and the appropriate terms to describe the data.