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Bar chart

The bar chart shows how the amount of energy generated from wind changed in different countries, namely India, Denmark, Germany and the US between 1985 and 2000. Overall, all the countries mentioned saw their energy production from wind increase with the rate of growth being more noticeable in Denmark. Additionally, the US exhibited consistently higher figures during the period with the exception of the final year.
In 1985, India energy generated the smallest 100 mw. But five years later, this mws’ improved minimally to 450 mw in 1990. And next decades India energy generated rose considerably to 1400 mw in 1995, and in 2000, this increased gradually to 1600 mw. There is almost the same generated mws in Denmark. Denmark energy generated 110 mw in 1985, and after 5 years this rose to 460 mw, and this was followed by, in 1995, it rose drammatically to 1260 mw, also in 2000 year, Denmark energy generated improved noticeably again to 1700mw.
On the other hand, the US and Germany showed smaller changes in this period. In 1985, Germany energy generated was 400 mw and in 1990, this considerably to 700 mw, and it was followed by, this rose to 800 mw, however, this showed remain stable in 1995 and 2000 years. The US energy generated 1400 mw in 1985, also in 1990 year, the US energy generated increased noticeably to 1700 mw, however, next decades the US energy generated decreased marginally to 1600 mw in 1995, and it in 2000 year dropped again to 1500 mw.

6.0

The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the data. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.

Suggestions
  • Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
  • Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.

The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of an attempt to use less common and more complex language. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases that affect the clarity of the writing.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and the majority of sentences are free from grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in the use of articles, prepositions, and verb forms that affect the overall clarity of the writing.

The essay provides an overview of the data and makes some comparisons where relevant. However, the essay could be improved by providing more detailed analysis and by making more specific comparisons.

Suggestions
  • Provide a more detailed analysis of the data and make more specific comparisons.
  • Use a wider range of structures to discuss the data.